gonna_live | (no subject)

(no subject)

The problem is such that she takes it to Simon's friend Jordie: where do you take a friend from out of town who had an upbringing similar to her own and feels a little off in places as fancy as anywhere Simon would suggest?

The response comes back via wave: Have a little more faith in your husband, but not much -- he never went to this particular bar as much as I did. Ask him (I'm assuming he knows your friend better than I do) what he would think about The Pig.

Apparently it's suitable for Jayne Cobb, and walking distance from their apartment, and so Kaylee and Jayne present themselves at a local speakeasy that from the outside is a mere door, no windows. A hand-written sign in Mandarin tacked to it pronounces the name of the establishment to be The Pig In The Poke.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jayne is . . . sort of won over by this argument.

"You want somethin's gonna rot your teeth, that's your call," he says, and bellows over to the barkeep.

"Hey! A whiskey an' a Stoned Angel over here."

"Please," Kaylee calls, and sends Jayne a look.

"It does tend to help. If you say please."

Jayne looks blankly back at her.

"I ain't ever found that."

Kaylee laughs good-naturedly. "You ever tried it, Jayne?"

"Ain't never needed to," says Jayne, with some smugness.

When you're as devilish handsome as this fellow right here, there's plenty a ways to get what you're askin' for without resortin' to manners.

"Well, you ever do try, you get it recorded, 'cause I'd like to see it."

Cunning: "Tell you what - you show me those blackmail pictures, I'll get you a recordin' of me please-in' and thank-you-in' it up good as a charm school Shepherd."

"Absolutely not," she says cheerfully. "I like bein' married. Been good for me. I'd like it to continue and whatnot."

"Wouldn't have to tell him you showed me."

Their drinks arrive, shuffled over on a tray by a sour-faced old man; Jayne passes Kaylee hers (it's bright yellow, with gold flecks) and takes a gulp of his.

"I coulda stumbled on 'em all on my own."

Kaylee eyes hers warily, and takes a cautious sip.

It meets with approval; her next isn't nearly so cautious. "You ain't discovered 'em in near a year now. He ain't discovered 'em. What makes you think you can find 'em?"

"Didn't know about 'em for a year now," Jayne points out.

"An' I'm willin' to look places he ain't, on account of I ain't a gentleman."

"And I can put snow in your room and keep it there," Kaylee says cheerfully. "Or make it hot. And you can't do a ruttin' thing about it, so I'd think you'd want to stay on my good side."

". . . I can not sleep there."

Jayne is too cunning for you, Kaylee! TOO CUNNING.

"And then I'll do it to all of us and when they say to me, 'Kaylee, why won't you ruttin' fix it' I'll say 'well, captain and Zoe and Wash and Naomi and River, it's 'cause Jayne won't be no kind of gentleman, so as soon as he gets nice I'll fix it', and then you'll just have to be a be a gentleman."

"Couple a flaws in your genius plan there, little Kaylee," Jayne says, taking a gulp of his whiskey.

"First off, time all this comes around, I'll've already found those blackmail pics an' the whole point'll be past moot anyhow. And second off, you tell the cap'n an' Zoe an' Wash an' Naomi that the ship's repairs are waitin' on me actin' like a Tam-standard rarified gent, an' I reckon you'll get a full crew's worth of laughin' at in the face."

Yes, even from Naomi!

"Well, there's at least one flaw in your plan, 'cause you're assumin' they're on the ship."

Kaylee drinks.

Smugly.

Jayne eyes her. He is not sure she has earned the right to smugness yet!

"Where else is it you got the power t'fix up as a torture chamber?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Kaylee beams at him.

"You," Jayne says, and punctuates with a pointed finger, "are bluffin'."

"Now, Jayne," Kaylee says, mock-offended, "you know I can't bluff to save my life."

"Lotta things you might bluff about ain't got nothin' to do with savin' no one's life," Jayne points out.

"Think I don't know you're sneaky?"

Kaylee's smile is very peaceful.

She drinks a little more.

~*two drinks later*~

"- and then I said to her, tàikōng suŏyŏu de xīngqiú sāijìn wŏ de pìgu!" says Jayne, and slaps his knee, with a roaring laugh.

Kaylee is collapsed in giggles.

She manages, after a long moment of incoherence, "Well -- well -- well, was it?"

Jayne gives the tender a discreet signal for two more drinks - which, in Jayne's case, means waving an arm high above his head and bellowing, "Another round!" before turning to Kaylee to say, with a loud snigger, "All of it that mattered, anyhow. It were a hell of a time explainin' to her ma after."