gonna_live | (no subject)

"You don't have to bribe me to talk."

Though it helps.

The snickerdoodle is not long for this world.

Kaylee was pretty sure of that, but there's a trick she learned from Eddie Dean: it's hard to be bitter with something sweet in your mouth.

She takes a seat on the closed (and fat, on wheels) tool chest, and places a hand next to her. "Come on." She's not really smiling.

Which...doesn't inspire much confidence in Mal, but he sits anyway.

"Mmm?"

It's a better starter than What happened?, and it gives Mal time to snatch another cookie as reinforcements.

Kaylee sits with her hands clasped together on her knees. Her shoulders hunch a little.

(She thought long and hard about to put it.)

"Simon's got a job offer. And we'd like him to take it."

Mal doesn't...process, what Kaylee is trying to tell him. Like someone is speaking in Chinese but with all the wrong inflection - the words are there but the meaning is all sideways.

But he gets it.

"You just got back."

"I know," she says, quiet. "They came to him. He didn't go to them."

No, you don't, Mal almost lets slip. You just got back.

As if repeating the sentence would garner a different result.

"And this ain't a temporary job he'd be looking at neither. You wouldn't be...like this. If it were."

Kaylee nods. She's not looking at him.

(She's trying not to throw up.)

"Not temporary. No." Beat. "On Praxed. It's... not in the Core."

It's still planetside. Away.

Mal stands, moving to nowhere in particular.

(He's trying not to throw up. The cookie idea may have backfired on Kaylee.)

"[What am I supposed to say?]"

It doesn't sound like it is directed at Kaylee, but it is the only commentary Mal offers aloud.

"Nothing."

Barely audible.

"Unless -- that you're okay with it. That you're not -- "

Going to hate us for it, she doesn't say. Instead: " -- gonna try to hold us back from makin' it work. If it even works."

"Is that somethin' you thought I would do?" It comes out as a snap; defensive and short. "Did I stop you 'n Doc last time?"

"No, but -- "

She sounds like she's pleading, and she doesn't care.

" -- last time it wasn't for good."

She actually said it this time. For good instead of not temporary. It shouldn't make a difference but it feels heavier in the room to Mal, the words ringing a bit the way a bullet graze does if you manage to walk away.

Flat; managing to collate data between the grind of his molars. "When."

How long does he have?

Kaylee takes in a shaky breath, and lets it out. "I don't -- a couple of months? I think? It's not -- it's not set yet, he didn't accept it yet, I don't know."

"That's somethin'; him not accepting yet."

It could have come out as What, couldn't find a world to jump out into yet?

Mal's comment has more of a resigned tone of him fractionally relaxing.

"I don't like it. Don't ask me to like it. Ever."

"I know better."

She hasn't moved.

"Then you know I got about a million gorram questions I should ask you, bein' captain. About what the hell I'm going to do without a mechanic and a medic on my boat."

"Zoe did it before Simon and nobody died." Not much louder. "And between you, Wash, and River -- not much you can't handle. And if there is -- I'll come."

If I can, she doesn't add.

"If you even can." Mal doesn't mind voicing what is on both their minds.

"And just because I got those questions don't mean I rightly feel like dealing with any of 'em this split second."

"I told Simon I couldn't go nowhere until you and me finished this."

That comes as a surprise, and it registers. Mal gives Kaylee a stunned and quiet "Xiexie" on the topic before continuing on his former train of thought.

"Have you waved your folks yet?"

Kaylee opens her mouth.

Closes it.

Shakes her head.

(No reason to say I haven't talked to them in well over a year, and why start now.)

"You don't have to but I do. I promised your ba. Even if it's just a text-wave. Don't care any, but it's happenin'."

Mal is probably more authoritative in tone than he has a right to be, when it comes to parents not his own. Besides the fact that he did actually feel a sense of a promise to Teddy Frye, Kaylee has chastised him enough in regards to his own remaining parent that the lessons have expanded.

Maybe this is enough to grant him leeway.

Edited 2009-10-07 01:28 (UTC)

Right now Kaylee would probably agree to hold her breath until she passed out (or similar self-harm) if it meant Mal wouldn't be as mad as she thinks he is.

So she nods, looking down at her shoes.

Mal gives up on standing, eyeing a crate and sitting on the lid of it with an unceremonious grunt.

He is trying to loosen up the knuckles in his hands. They crack and pop when Mal straightens his fingers from the half-fists they had curled into.

"River's goin' to take one look at me and know - please tell me you three've already talked."

"Simon's with her," Kaylee says immediately. "We didn't -- she couldn't keep it a secret either. So we thought -- better tell you at once."

Divide and conquer.

But there aren't that many more questions Mal has the enthusiasm to ask at the moment.

"When does he have to tell 'em? That he's taking it?"

Before Kaylee can answer: "And Simon and I need to have a palaver on this too."

Good enough -- it's not like Kaylee knows, not really.

"Of course." Quiet. "We didn't think nothin' else would happen."

Mal can't even articulate in his head what he's going to say to Simon.

Or River.

Mal's right hand cards fingers through hair roughly.

"Is there something I can go solder now?"

Not hiding. Just...processing. Anything else.

Kaylee looks away.

"We can get back to it."

Very, very quiet.

"And you might've missed this, but... I told Simon. About this."

The ship, she means.

"I'll tell 'nara. The clock on it being quiet's about gone, what with Ma Barman now too."

He doesn't think Inara will be angry, but Mal can't predict what she'll say.

"Are you mad."

Something in the hinge of Mal's jaw works a bit. Maybe chewing over some last piece of cookie.

"A little."

He can't lie.

"Gimme time with it."

She pales.

"Think I'm done workin' for the day." Stiffly, as she gets up.

"Alright. I'll be here for a while yet."

He looks up finally, trying to gauge something that he doesn't say aloud. 'Mad' still isn't the right word. It felt like the only one Mal could agree to that he could explain.

It's all a bit much.

"Give me some time," Mal repeats, stronger; that part he's sure of. He doesn't say 'please'.

He might be looking up, but Kaylee isn't looking at him.

She's grabbing her jacket and picking up her bag as though she can't get out of there fast enough.

Don't run!

"Time don't mean 'run away', Kaylee. I love you and you're leavin'."

"And it's awkward and you're mad and I don't -- "

She's shrugging her jacket on.

"I think I done enough."

"Come to dinner on the boat tonight? I'll pick up pears from the bar."

"Got to see how River's doing first," she says stiffly. "Don't put yourself out."

Mal swallows hard.

"Come."

But it's not ever going to be the same.

Even if it doesn't work, they don't go -- things won't ever be the same. Because Mal doesn't forget things.

And there's no way in hell Mal is going to forget that Kaylee came to him and told him that she wanted to leave.

You don't, she thinks distantly, come back from that. And no matter what Mal says he's going to stay mad. Kaylee's sure about that.

Kaylee's sure: this is the end.

"I guess that's an order," she says, low, and turns to go.

He wants to tell her Don't make it like this.

It won't do any good. Not at the moment, at least.

Mal wonders if anything he could say would do anything.

"I'll be behind you. In a bit."