gonna_live: ([Mrs. Tam] haute couture)
gonna_live ([personal profile] gonna_live) wrote2009-01-04 10:04 pm

(no subject)

They're back.

The weekend went all right. Could have gone worse. Kaylee is sorting out clothes, and reorganizing things into appropriate piles.

Keeping house.

(Playing house, she thinks, with her now-customary gray-feeling blanket settling in over her thoughts. All there's ever going to be, because you can't snap yourself out of this. Who do you think you're fooling, anyway.)
simon_doctor: (worried)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-05 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
Simon's laying out his clothes for tomorrow -- the first day of class -- and trying to watch her without being obtrusive about it.

He hoped the time back on Serenity would help. But she was quiet, and polite, and social, and no more relaxed than during the week; she spoke when spoken to, answered the crew's questions about Osiris shallowly and then changed the subject.

It's getting bad again.
simon_doctor: (oh but when I look at you...)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-05 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
He waits a few minutes before coming out after her; the kettle's just beginning to make the low humming sound that prefaces the whistle.

"Hey," he says softly, putting a hand down next to hers on the counter.
simon_doctor: (oh but when I look at you...)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-05 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
Are you all -- no.

(His mouth opens slightly, unconsciously, and closes again.)

He can't ask anything like that because there's only one way she can answer, and it's got nothing to do with how she is. And he can't tell if she wants him here or wants him to leave her alone --

Very slowly, very carefully, he reaches out to fold her into a hug.
simon_doctor: (OTP v2)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-05 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
He holds her close, rubs her back.

Stifles the urge to say something inane like well, that's one week down or you can tell me if it gets too bad to bear.

There has to be something he can say.




There isn't.
simon_doctor: (OTP v2)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-05 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
No matter what; those words are in his head, too. In her voice.

He knows what kind of an insult he will be offering her if he suggests that, or even asks whether, they should give up and go home.
simon_doctor: (getting older)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-06 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Not bringing it up may be the hardest thing he's ever done.

But he won't take this away from her. He won't take it out of her hands.

(Not, says a very level voice in his head, until things reach the point where you'll be endangering her if you don't.)



He strokes her hair with one hand, slow and soothing.
simon_doctor: (pensive)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-06 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Not tonight." Soft. "There was only a little preliminary reading to do, and ... I've done it already."
simon_doctor: (oh but when I look at you...)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-06 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Under her cheek, his chest lifts and falls with a quick breath.

Still soft, and with a small smile in it: "Dangran."
simon_doctor: (pensive)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-06 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
"In a minute," he murmurs.

"Do you want to read, maybe? Or just sit?"
simon_doctor: (OTP v2)

[personal profile] simon_doctor 2009-01-06 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
"Okay. That's fine."

And the thing is --

She's asking for something. After a week of silence and avoidance and whatever-you-think-is-best, she's asking him for something.

It's a relief, and a fragile hope.

His arm around her shoulders tightens briefly, then loosens.